bazookaluca

Hey, Look At That, The Comment Section Isn’t Always Reserved For Calling People n00bs. Go Figure.

Posted in culture, Fox News, Health Care, politics by bazookaluca on August 14, 2009
Sometimes, on a very rare occasion, the best commentary on a social issue topic can only be found in the comment sections on Fark.
This, a comment from someone listed as Ozone at 02:03:58 PM on 8/13/09 on this Fark page.
This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.

On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal’s inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

And then I log on to the internet — which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration — and post on Freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can’t do anything right.
Bravo.

Why So Serious?

Posted in Alaskan Roulette, politics, Sarah Palin, Zina Saunders by bazookaluca on July 8, 2009

Artist: Zina Saunders, “Alaskan Roulette,” July 4, 2009.

Obama Sucks At Socialism

Posted in Asinine Conservative Conspiracy Theories, Barack Obama, politics, Socialism by bazookaluca on June 5, 2009

A bit of a reality check:

[From The Atlantic.]

Note To Journalists

Posted in culture, Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart, politics, television, The Daily Show by bazookaluca on March 13, 2009

This is how you’re supposed to do it:
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Now grow a pair and get to work.

The Sons Of His Opponents Wish That He Was Their Dad

Posted in culture, George Washington, politics, President's Day by bazookaluca on February 16, 2009

Happy President’s Day.

The Proximity Effect

Posted in Mayor Quimby, politics, Rod Blagojevich, The Simpsons by bazookaluca on January 27, 2009
I postulated a theorem today and after careful examination, I think it holds up:

=

It’s uncanny on several levels, really. The gall, the aloofness, the overbearing arrogance, and most of all, the constant comedy gold flowing from their ever-spewing blow holes.

By the way, favorite Mayor Quimby quote:

Can’t we have one meeting that doesn’t end with us digging up a corpse?

And what the hell, favorite Blagojevich quote:

I’ve been criticized for this, but I’m not comparing myself to Dr. King or Nelson Mandela or Mahatma Gandhi, but I tried to reach in to history and imagine some inspiring figures that would have gone through something like I was going through for sustenance and inspiration.

Word.

Cut The Shit – Let Us Fly With Our Knives

Posted in culture, politics, rant by bazookaluca on November 24, 2008
As a former scout and proud knife-carrying citizen (well, technically a resident, if you want to be a jerk about it) I second this motion as put forth on BoingBoing for president-elect Obama to address:

The Right To Bear Pocket Knives

Up until the day the terrorists won, I routinely carried my trusty tool (not an euphemism, for once) in my pocket or backpack on my trans-Atlantic flights to and from Italy, with ne’er a complication. But the fear-mongering institution of Homeland Security put an end to that, and it’s time that someone, in turn, puts an end to their fascist, police-state policies.

Flying was bad enough before all these random, unreasonable rules and regulations (the liquids ban and the 1-quart Ziploc bag rule also come to mind –I still think S.C. Johnson & Son is in cahoots with the Bush administration for that one), but it’s been nearly unbearable over the last few years. Most, if not all of the policies are pointless, counter-intuitive, inconvenient and wasteful, and they are so incompetently enforced that they don’t fulfill the purpose they were enacted to serve (kind of encompassing the Bush administration, come to think of it.)

So, instead of benefiting from these sacrifices for collective public safety, we all have lost considerable personal freedoms, not to mention time and money. Let’s cut the shit, all right?

The merits of carrying a pocket knife are numerous and overwhelmingly outnumber the chances of it being used for nefarious reasons. Not a day goes by that I don’t use mine, it’s probably the most useful tool on my person at all times –more so than even my cell phone (actually, I used my knife to open up the impregnable clamshell plastic packaging my cell phone came in, thankyouverymuch…)

Am I supposed to abandon my convenient and practical utensil when I fly somewhere just to satisfy a bullshit sense of security?

Fuck that.

Obama, the ball is in your court. This one’s a no-brainer, do what you gotta do.

Next Stop: Your Fiery, Confined Death

Posted in Baghdad, culture, Iraq, politics, Subway by bazookaluca on November 19, 2008

So, plans are underway to build a $3 billion subway system in Baghdad. Yes, that Baghdad. You know, here. Where, in case you haven’t heard, this has been going on for a minute.

This is probably one of those notorious civic projects that will take decades and go waaaay over-budget to accomplish. And you have to think that the Iraqi Cabinet that earmarked the project is optimistically treating it as such, because why else would they even consider it at this time?

The infrastructure in Baghdad is, at best, in shambles.

On average, Baghdad residents only have working electricity for twelve hours a day. Many have it for a mere one hour a day. Plus, in a city that averages temperatures of over 110°F in the summer, there’s been water shortages that sometimes go on for a week at a time. Contributing to that is a major sewage treatment plant being built in the area, used to process waste and produce clean water, that is costing three times the original budget amount and is three years behind schedule. And on top of all that, there’s no reliable system for trash removal, so entire streets have turned into public dumps.

These are just a few of the many framework issues for one of the world’s fastest growing cities (expected to reach the 10 million citizen mark in the next 15 years) and they all seem to warrant top priority.

There’s been huge congestion problems on the roads due to a spike in vehicle ownership after the “liberation”, attributed to lifted sanctions, slashes in customs rates and of course, miles of security walls and hundreds of check points set up by security forces –the subway is seen as the only solution to relieve traffic.

But at this time of uncertainty, civil unrest, religious insurgency and foreign occupation in Baghdad, I just cringe at the idea of confining thousands of citizens in fast moving boxes in underground corridors crisscrossing the city.

I don’t know, is it just me or doesn’t that just seem like a perfect place for some rabble-rouser to cause a little trouble?

Maybe I’m just paranoid.

I’ve Been Running Ever Since

Posted in A Change Is Gonna Come, Barack Obama, politics, Sam Cooke by bazookaluca on November 5, 2008

Barack Obama For President: An Endorsement, For Your Consideration

Posted in Barack Obama, John McCain, politics by bazookaluca on November 3, 2008
I’ve always believed that anyone with an opinion and a platform should make themselves heard. Through the last few years here at Bazookaluca, I’ve certainly expressed opinions on anything and everything, from the trivial (An Open Letter To Ethnic Food Marketers) to the ultra-trivial (Musings On Anti Monkey Butt Powder), while never masking or diluting the nuggets of truth that I often find in the absurd.

And while the current presidential campaign season (all 22 months of it!) has been rife with absurd moments, the culmination of it will certainly be anything but trivial. And it is because of this circumstantial gravity that I want to take advantage of my platform to endorse Barack Obama for president in 2008.

Through his lengthy campaign, Obama has proved to be the steady, calm voice of reason while often faced with unreasonable accusations, never straying from his message or compromising his integrity. He’s been a study in complexity, caution and calculation, all critical traits for a world leader.

Perhaps what’s impressed me the most about Obama is that, despite the focus on his message of hope and reform, he is no idealist, he is pragmatic and empirical in his approach. From his time as Illinois Senator to executing his unprecedented presidential campaign with meticulous professionalism, he has always tempered a progressive agenda with a cold dash of realism and sober judgement– the antithesis of the Rovian Bush years which were (and still are) entirely defined by empty, dogmatic rhetoric with no redeeming value or concrete results.

Obama has shown his strength of will, character and intellect consistently throughout this campaign.

By contrast, John McCain has proved erratic and out of touch; his campaign plagued by knee-jerk decisions and inconsistent, contradictory messages– perhaps best exemplified by his puzzling vice presidential choice of Sara Palin, whose nomination is a slap to the face of reasonable and rational people everywhere.

Furthermore, his approach over the last month of the campaign is best described as a systematic organization of hatreds, honing in on politics of fear, division and character assassination which are not only the lowest form of political discourse, but also dramatically polarize the electorate, which in turn, makes subsequent governing nearly impossible.

This is perhaps Obama’s biggest challenge, and one that, luckily, he’s best suited to tackle. After all, at the end of a long, bitter campaign which pitted him first against the previously unbeaten Clintons and then the equally invincible Karl Rove protégé, Steve Schmidt, Obama has emerged with the highest pre-election favorability rating of any candidate, ever (62%). A figure that, I suspect, will win him the White House and give him a clear mandate to reform from the voters.

This speaks volumes, not only to the utter failure of the Bush presidency and the conservative agenda whose irresponsible policies have left this country in the worst condition since the Great Depression, but also to Obama’s ability to transcend old political smear tactics that pit people against one another and still stay true to communicating his vision of the American dream– one that includes and serves and benefits every American.

A true candidate for the 21st Century and for those of us who still think we can do better.

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