Hey, Look At That, The Comment Section Isn’t Always Reserved For Calling People n00bs. Go Figure.
This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water utility.After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal’s inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.And then I log on to the internet — which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration — and post on Freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can’t do anything right.
Note To Journalists
This is how you’re supposed to do it:
.cc_box a:hover .cc_home{background:url(‘http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-over.png’) !important;}.cc_links a{color:#b9b9b9;text-decoration:none;}.cc_show a{color:#707070;text-decoration:none;}.cc_title a{color:#868686;text-decoration:none;}.cc_links a:hover{color:#67bee2;text-decoration:underline;}
.cc_box a:hover .cc_home{background:url(‘http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-over.png’) !important;}.cc_links a{color:#b9b9b9;text-decoration:none;}.cc_show a{color:#707070;text-decoration:none;}.cc_title a{color:#868686;text-decoration:none;}.cc_links a:hover{color:#67bee2;text-decoration:underline;}
.cc_box a:hover .cc_home{background:url(‘http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-over.png’) !important;}.cc_links a{color:#b9b9b9;text-decoration:none;}.cc_show a{color:#707070;text-decoration:none;}.cc_title a{color:#868686;text-decoration:none;}.cc_links a:hover{color:#67bee2;text-decoration:underline;}
Now grow a pair and get to work.
The Proximity Effect
By the way, favorite Mayor Quimby quote:
Can’t we have one meeting that doesn’t end with us digging up a corpse?
And what the hell, favorite Blagojevich quote:
I’ve been criticized for this, but I’m not comparing myself to Dr. King or Nelson Mandela or Mahatma Gandhi, but I tried to reach in to history and imagine some inspiring figures that would have gone through something like I was going through for sustenance and inspiration.
Word.
Cut The Shit – Let Us Fly With Our Knives
The Right To Bear Pocket Knives
Up until the day the terrorists won, I routinely carried my trusty tool (not an euphemism, for once) in my pocket or backpack on my trans-Atlantic flights to and from Italy, with ne’er a complication. But the fear-mongering institution of Homeland Security put an end to that, and it’s time that someone, in turn, puts an end to their fascist, police-state policies.
Flying was bad enough before all these random, unreasonable rules and regulations (the liquids ban and the 1-quart Ziploc bag rule also come to mind –I still think S.C. Johnson & Son is in cahoots with the Bush administration for that one), but it’s been nearly unbearable over the last few years. Most, if not all of the policies are pointless, counter-intuitive, inconvenient and wasteful, and they are so incompetently enforced that they don’t fulfill the purpose they were enacted to serve (kind of encompassing the Bush administration, come to think of it.)
So, instead of benefiting from these sacrifices for collective public safety, we all have lost considerable personal freedoms, not to mention time and money. Let’s cut the shit, all right?
The merits of carrying a pocket knife are numerous and overwhelmingly outnumber the chances of it being used for nefarious reasons. Not a day goes by that I don’t use mine, it’s probably the most useful tool on my person at all times –more so than even my cell phone (actually, I used my knife to open up the impregnable clamshell plastic packaging my cell phone came in, thankyouverymuch…)
Am I supposed to abandon my convenient and practical utensil when I fly somewhere just to satisfy a bullshit sense of security?
Fuck that.
Obama, the ball is in your court. This one’s a no-brainer, do what you gotta do.
Next Stop: Your Fiery, Confined Death
So, plans are underway to build a $3 billion subway system in Baghdad. Yes, that Baghdad. You know, here. Where, in case you haven’t heard, this has been going on for a minute.
The infrastructure in Baghdad is, at best, in shambles.
On average, Baghdad residents only have working electricity for twelve hours a day. Many have it for a mere one hour a day. Plus, in a city that averages temperatures of over 110°F in the summer, there’s been water shortages that sometimes go on for a week at a time. Contributing to that is a major sewage treatment plant being built in the area, used to process waste and produce clean water, that is costing three times the original budget amount and is three years behind schedule. And on top of all that, there’s no reliable system for trash removal, so entire streets have turned into public dumps.
These are just a few of the many framework issues for one of the world’s fastest growing cities (expected to reach the 10 million citizen mark in the next 15 years) and they all seem to warrant top priority.
There’s been huge congestion problems on the roads due to a spike in vehicle ownership after the “liberation”, attributed to lifted sanctions, slashes in customs rates and of course, miles of security walls and hundreds of check points set up by security forces –the subway is seen as the only solution to relieve traffic.
But at this time of uncertainty, civil unrest, religious insurgency and foreign occupation in Baghdad, I just cringe at the idea of confining thousands of citizens in fast moving boxes in underground corridors crisscrossing the city.
I don’t know, is it just me or doesn’t that just seem like a perfect place for some rabble-rouser to cause a little trouble?
Maybe I’m just paranoid.





leave a comment