Brooke Hogan Makes My Dreams Come True

A couple of months back I wrote about Brooke Hogan’s rumored artwork for her new album, The Redemption, with guarded hesitation. Surly, I thought, cover art this bad was too good to be true. As much as I wanted it to exist, it had to be a publicity stunt to get people talking about the album. It just had to be.

But sure enough, when the release date of July 21th came around, I was delighted to see that the cover remained untouched (as seen here), securing its official place as one of the worst album covers of all time.

Sometimes dreams do come true.

Musings On Anti Monkey Butt Powder

Don’t let this ad mislead your dirty, dirty minds.

It’s for a product called Anti Monkey Butt Powder, a talcum-like substance that absorbs sweat and reduces friction created in your nether regions during certain “butt busting” activities such as bike riding or trucking or a night out with the boys in Midtown.

Now, I know that there’s all sorts of quirky companies out there that use idiosyncratic marketing devices to sell their merchandise, but it’s usually within a rather insulated niche like at Spencer Gifts or perhaps Urban Outfitters. Not A.M.B.P. though, I saw a commercial for this shit on ESPN, in the middle of the day, no less.

What gall on these folks. I mean, merely coming up with a concept like “monkey butt” would have been enough. But to create a product to combat the supposed condition, then actually name it Anti Monkey Butt Powder and finally, launch a national advertising campaign behind it takes a particular ilk of ballsy individuals.

Be it, a dry and unchafed ilk of ballsy individuals, but nonetheless.

What’s next? Anti Shit Breath Mints™ commercials during the Super Bowl? The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on CBS brought to you by the new Anti Camel Toe Panties™?

Let’s hope not.